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Oil Wells
Previous episode: Fan Magazine Interview Next episode: Ricky Loses His Temper http://i148.photobucket.com/albums/s29/ABMfisher/TycoonMertzes.jpg http://i148.photobucket.com/albums/s29/ABMfisher/RichDreams.jpg Plot A new couple moves in to the Mertzes' apartment building. The Johnsons are supposedly rich oil tycoons from Texas. The Ricardos and Mertzes buy stock from the Johnsons, but when a detective comes to ask where the Johnsons' apartment is, the foursome gets suspicious that the oil stocks aren't worth anything, and that the whole thing was just a scam. Lucy tape records a conversation with the Johnsons for evidence, and she eventually talks them into giving back their "nasty, little ol' money." Everyone praises Lucy for a job well done... until the detective asks to use the Ricardos' phone to call his wife about making a fortune off of the oil stocks Lucy returned to Mr. Johnson! Trivia *The Johnsons first names are Sam and Nancy. *A still from this episode of the Ricardos and the Mertzes reading a newspaper article in the Ricardos' kitchen was used on the cover of a VHS tape entitled "Lucy's Lost Episodes." *Ricky found out that making a periwinkle blue custom Cadillac whose horn would toot "Babalu" would cost $12,000. *When trying to record the Johnsons' conversations, Lucy runs the wire down her pants leg and hides the microphone behind her blouse's built-in handkerchief. *Fred bought 10 shares of stock from Mr. Johnson, and he eventually lets the Ricardos have half. Quotes *Fred: Ethel's the advance scout, and Lucy's covering the rear. Ricky: Oh, those two characters. Fred: Yeah, nothing gets by the Snoopers' Patrol! *Fred: Nosiness is just part of a woman's charm, like hangin' stockings in the bathroom and nagging. *Ricky: How do you feel? Lucy: Fine. Ricky: Are you alright, Ethel? Ethel: Sure, why? Ricky: Fred, I'd like to report to you that, contrary to what you've always been told, curiosity does not kill a cat. *Fred: What are you gonna do? Grill Johnson? Lucy: Like a cheese sandwich! *Lucy: What does your husband do? Nancy Johnson: Well, he's in oil. Lucy: Hair, suntan, cod liver, or castor? Nancy: Oh, heavens! We don't mess with any of THEM in Texas! He's got oil wells. Lucy and Ethel: Oil wells?! Nancy: Well, just a couple of those little, bitty ones. Lucy: Well, those little, bitty ones- they DO pump oil? Ricky: Well, not as much as you're pumping HER, dear. *Ricky: Look, if Johnson's a millionaire, what is he doing living in this dump? Ethel and Fred: Dump?! Ricky: Yeah! To a millionaire, this is a dump! Fred: I accept that! *Ethel: Are you gonna be a dumb bunny, too? Fred: (in Bugs voice) Eh, what's up, doc? *Ricky: Lucy, with the money you save out of your household account, we couldn't buy enough oil for a salad! *Ricky: We'll just have to face it, honey- the Mertzes will be rich, and we'll still be poor. Ethel: Oh, now, don't go putting on a poor mouth! *Lucy: I was just thinking about poor Little Ricky. That money could have gone for his college education. Ethel: Well, that's certainly hitting a rich godmother below my money belt! *Fred: We'll split oil stock with you. THat's the least I can do, I guess. Now, we've got 10 shares and we'll give you one. Lucy: That really IS the least you can do! *Ricky: Yeah, Fred, what's five shares to a bil oil typhoon like you? *Ethel: Good morning, Lucy-Lu. Lucy: Hi, Ethel, honey. Are those new furs? Ethel: No, they're yesterday's! *Lucy: Millionaire, millionaire- you know, I've said it so often that it doesn't mean much anymore. Ethel: You know somethin'? We might even get to be billionaires. Lucy: Yeah, or even trillionaires! Ethel: Or even zillionaires! Lucy: Or even... What comes after zillionaires? Fred: The Income Tax Department! *Ricky: Don't count your chickens before your bridges is hatched! *Ricky: You said Sam had a kind face! Lucy: Yeah, I didn't say WHAT kind! *Ethel: If you're the kind of people we would have had to associate with if we were millionaires, I'm glad we were wiped out! *Sam Johnson: Down Texas way, a deal is a deal! Lucy: Our money, please. Nancy: Sam, if that's the way she feels, give her back her nasty, little ol' money!﻿